?

Frustrated at the thought
of someone trying to relay whats going on
they speak like they know
but know nothing at all
they talk like there living it
Like they understand how
everything works
how things on this earth turn
they think they know my story
yet only come around in my glory
they think I dont notice
but how do you not notice
when you see someone who is a stranger
saying that they are your friend
they hold there eyes of ruby red
and try hide behind them
thirsting for attention
why am I your obsession
I have done nothing
Im thinking its time for a recession
they smile and laugh
and act like they have so much class
I see right through, your hidden mask
and I'm ready to say kiss my ass
looking around
I fall to the ground
just to realize
Whats really going down!

I'm Just A Girl!

I'm just girl
that don't understand
Just one
who hates being me
If I could change
everything I turned out to be
don't you think I would
Don't you see
with out you

I am with out me
I'm just a girl
trying to be free
Sitting here contemplating
Do I move from the shadows
Do I sore above the bright shining stars
Should I believe
I may be
The best thing
that never happened to you
I'm just girl
in this big old world
Full of heart
And devastated
Because its tore apart
I'm just girl
that none of you know
hidden behind
a smile that glows
I'm just... a girl

Who's in Control

People always telling me
Where I have to be
Where I have to go
And who I have to be
I am getting sick of it all
tired enough not to even crawl
I cant do what everyone expects
I just want to be me
is that not enough
or do I still need your threats
you try to take away from who I am
yet I just want to be free from all this
Pain and Suffering
Everywhere I go
you all seem to throw it back in my face
I'm trying so hard
But feel I will never have my place
I cry alone
so you all don't see
everything that's eating away at me
I wont show you I am weak
Please note that
I am only as strong as a
heart filled person can be
I wish you wouldn't use me
I wish you wouldn't control me
I wish I had someone to trust
instead of someone to disown me
I will say to you in forgiveness
but I promise you I will not forget this!
You have caused me pain
but I am not heartless
Take what you will from me
But be good to the ones I love
because your already on my shit list:)
you may hurt me,

but them is another story!
so take what I have said
and take it in deep
because this is your only notice
you have no more chances with me
I am setting myself free

I love you sis!

Darling Girl I send you my blessing
I wish you all the best
and give you my love
You are my unbiological sister
None the less
so take care of yourself
Your better than all the rest
Remember to always be strong
and stand your ground
I need you here
I want you around
I love you sis
With you I am found!

I know I will mss this

I wish I could actually smile
instead of sitting here in denial
I wish I could go back
and redo things
just to figure out what I lack
I thought I would be enough
But I guess I wasn't
I am sorry that I cant help this
I am sorry I cant help you
I wish I had more of a clue
as what to do
I really care about you
I wish I could see
every image running through your mind
I wish I could understand more about
what your really feeling on the inside
I care about you
this everyone knows is true
I don't like it now
I hate it now
I just wish I knew
how...
how to help you
how to fix this
how things were before
I know I will miss this !

I wonder

Sitting here thinking
pondering
deleting
I don't get it
I'm scared I know this
I'm not running
just second guessing this
I know I want this
I know I don't want to change this
but its not my thoughts I second think
it's yours
Sometimes I think about you
and what if its just a game
that the player story is true
am I falling to hard for you
am I just setting myself up
to get screwed
my skin is cold
my eyes full of tears
I tremble with fear
I wonder how close is to close
how close to hold you near
I don't care I still love you
but is that what I really fear
You tell me you do too
But is me believe just being a fool
are you just addicted to me
I wonder why. if that's the case to be
where do I go
and how do I think this
when every moment with you
brings me complete and udder happiness

just to say

Its hard to describe
the things you do
with out you even noticing
how you make me feel
I look deep in your eyes for the answers
I know are there
yet I always seem to get lost
in your gorgeous stare
your voice melts me
your touch weakens me
how could I ever get angry with you near
the thought of losing you is now what I fear
I only wish I knew for sure
that this would never happen
but I don't,
so I dream of right now
and imagine what could be
I surround myself with the joy
and the happiness bursting from within me
Never would I have thought
one person could change my life
not the way you have anyway
you near me always makes things alright
my path clear
and my joy returned
I am no longer seeking

the answers from your eyes
I feel them when you kiss me
and hold me every night

For this I love you

People always said
They wanted me to smile
see my face light up with joy
to hear me laugh and not sound of sorrow
they wanted my cold sapphire blue opaque skin
to return to warmth and joy
They always told me someday
someday I would find my other half
and once again be filled with everything,
I thought I lacked
Never in a million years
would I of believed
Never in a coons age
would I have thought
Letting someone in
would be so easy
How could I not though
How could I fear
someone who only makes me smile
who's arms make me feel safe
who understands me
and accepts me
How could I not fall
for someone who keeps me smiling
for someone who once again
brings out the best in me
with never thinking
that giving another part of my heart
was possible
you opened me and showed me otherwise!

Your spell

the time spent with you
is like the the sunset
on a hot summer day
something so surreal
not many can portray
each time I hear your voice,
recieve a message, or just get cast, a wisp,
of your smell my imagination runs wild
and once again im under your spell