venting

You played me like a fool

tossed me around like a rag doll

and slammed the door in my face

I don't know what I was thinking

I wanted to believe so much

you had changed

that you could be honest

and would stop playing childish games

I should have known that all the bull shit would be the same

you messing around with other girls

you say I have no right to get mad

well fuck you

a break is not a break up

its time to simply clear your head

especially when you can't say we are single

you do your thing and I'll do mine

ya those are your words

don't they just sound fucking fine

that must mean its okay

to pick up someone and sext all day... right...

yet you wanna make me your wife someday

put yourself in my shoes,

would you want to be with me;

if I did these things to you?

If I lied to you,

hid things from you,

even went behind your back,

and did things I promised you I would never do

cheating is cheating no matter what way you look at it

its wrong

so fuck it

be like you

go get high

smoke another bong

why not get drunk

and go for a drive too

that wont hurt anyone

except everyone that Care's about you

that is if you get lucky

and don't hurt the innocent person who happens to pass by

but that makes no difference

you say I have no right

my feelings don't matter

and that you don't wanna fight

Honey this is your doing

I am not the one causing this

and when you say that I am all uptight

what woman wouldn't be

when she is in this kind of strife.

so much to say

So many thing's I want to say,

where to start I am not sure

as my mind wont stop going a million miles an hour

and its been this way for days

being torn in so many ways

you coming back made

a joyful waterfall on the outside

a confused soul on the in

I want to tell you everything

Although I don't know where to begin

do I start by saying I LOVE YOU,

you are my greatest sin

or by telling you I am scared,

that I want to feel secure,

not alone, or even unloved,

I am deathly afraid of the kind of pain again

turmoil should make us stronger,

you ran away,

and I know I couldn't take that empty pain much longer

I tried to stay strong,

but each day drifted from the place my heart belonged

cried so hard

I couldn't think.

I could imagine my life without you,

but you made me,

you made me see life without you

and now I'm not sure if you understand life without me

I don't want to be toyed with

I am not a puppet

you caused a lot of damage

I was at the point to say F* it,

I want more than anything

for the words you have spoke to be real

to feel everything

part of me put up this wall

to protect me again if I shall fall

will you be there to break it down

and the one to catch me this time if I do...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

but I am really scared too!
Your the only one my heart beats for
I want you to feel this way too...
I want you to need me like I need you
to want, desire and crave me
to miss me after five minutes of being a part
to just be....
your everything!