so much to say

So many thing's I want to say,

where to start I am not sure

as my mind wont stop going a million miles an hour

and its been this way for days

being torn in so many ways

you coming back made

a joyful waterfall on the outside

a confused soul on the in

I want to tell you everything

Although I don't know where to begin

do I start by saying I LOVE YOU,

you are my greatest sin

or by telling you I am scared,

that I want to feel secure,

not alone, or even unloved,

I am deathly afraid of the kind of pain again

turmoil should make us stronger,

you ran away,

and I know I couldn't take that empty pain much longer

I tried to stay strong,

but each day drifted from the place my heart belonged

cried so hard

I couldn't think.

I could imagine my life without you,

but you made me,

you made me see life without you

and now I'm not sure if you understand life without me

I don't want to be toyed with

I am not a puppet

you caused a lot of damage

I was at the point to say F* it,

I want more than anything

for the words you have spoke to be real

to feel everything

part of me put up this wall

to protect me again if I shall fall

will you be there to break it down

and the one to catch me this time if I do...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

but I am really scared too!
Your the only one my heart beats for
I want you to feel this way too...
I want you to need me like I need you
to want, desire and crave me
to miss me after five minutes of being a part
to just be....
your everything!