LISTEN

Okay so here it is
I am not anything special
I am not perfect
I am not someone to always be right
I am 100% not any where close to being who i used to be
But I am a powerful woman
a strong woman
a unique woman
I am not someone to push around
to walk all over
or treat like I am worth nothing
I deserve as much respect as the next person
I deserve just as much as you do
you think its okay to walk around with your nose in the air
you think its okay to sit. talk shit and stare
Listen to everyone around you for once
shut up and stop talking over everyone else
No one cares about your BS
No one cares about your lies
your games
its time to grow up and leave your anger behind
there is no reason for you to act like your better
we are all created the same!
we are all equal!
we are all just human!

with out

Since you came into my life...
You have given me the best everyday and night...
I felt my happiness in you...
Thought I was dreaming...
was too good to be true...
You bought peace to my mind and comfort to my soul...
Everything about you just made me feel like I was whole...
You gave my life a deeper meaning...
You gave me something to believe in...
It took me a while to realize...
The life I had been living was nothing but a lie...
Thought I was gonna die...
But you listened to me cry...
You shared my pain and never said goodbye...
I felt like I was losing my mind...
My life started to rewind...
The flashbacks I visualised became too painful...
My mind, body and soul became fearful...
My eyes shed tears,
but my weeping made no sound...
I longed for someone,
yet I didn’t want to be found...
You held onto me, you made me stronger...
If I carried on like this,
I wouldn’t live much longer...
But you made me feel like it was gonna be alright...
The darkness in my world slowly turned into light...
You kept me going, still mine always here for me...
So why was it so hard to face reality...?
Truth don’t hurt but it kills when you can see...
whats really going on between you and me...
They say true love is very hard to find...
I’m lucky...
i found you, your one of a kind...
I wouldn’t know who I am...
I wouldn’t know where im at...
I wouldn’t know why im here...
I wouldn’t know what to do…
without you...
Wouldn’t be able to live life even if I tried to...
I loved you from the start...
I love you from the bottom of my heart...
And even though we are far apart...
Your always gonna be my sweetheart...
I love you more everyday...
I love you more than ever...
I love you for always and forever...

You dont deserve me

nothing i ever did pleased you
turning my back now would be easy
because hurtful words are all thats said
i will promise not to miss you
and try to hide the truth inside
for right now i am saying good bye
i am going to try to forget the look you gave
saying you wanted me
the way you knew what i needed
and i will learn to live without the love we shared
the happiness that dissapeared
i promise i wont live a lie
and i am trying to say good bye
im going to try
i will show you im over you
with every vow i make
i will not miss you now!
ive learned my lesson
wish there was no bitter ending
and im sorry for your insecurities
but you made me that much stronger
and this was the life i was given

I am but a ghost

The hollywood affect

Well I have my eyes on the prize

I always was the girl next door

the one who you
would always come and talk to

well now I’m making six figures
working 3 days a week

my little black book is full

and I’m not a princess anymore
You look at me a little different

and now your not the only one I see
I plan on shaking up the north
And never looking back
Just moving forward
I didn’t get where I am at
By slacking off

worked harder then ever before

just to get my foot in that door

now stronger and smarter

your wishing it was you I adore

well good luck

I figured out I am better than that

better than this

I am independent

no longer taking anyone’s shit
I'm going to live life
like today is my last day
never living it twice
because in the end the prize is worth the fight

One veiw

Everyone looks in one direction
sees one thing,
believes there veiws are right

but what is right?

what can anyone really do to prove there veiw

is...inevitable
for people to wonder

if there is a little bit of chage
is it okay
if someone starts to think different
believe different
act different
is there possiblities

for people to not want to think on one path
see one color
one grace of world
looking at things on a path of insecurities
what is safe
what belongs
in whos eyes are things always right
in who's eyes do they decide who belongs
one view brings onself
nothing but oneself

Thinking of things
wishing they meant something
moving foward
and never looking back
not regreting a thing
but knowing all is not well
there is still something I lack
trying to figure out
why I do what I do
trying to think about all the things
that life is throwing my way
working hard
trying to stay on this path
not knowing where I will end up
only hoping that there will be
something worth while in the end
and someone, someday
will help take care of me

Walk away or Stay?

I have sat back and watched many things happen in life
watched people fall in love
friends move away
young children dying for no reason,
things left unsaid
things left undone
I cant sit here and watch anymore
I cant believe that you would be the leaving kind
be the kind of person to just walk away
from everything that you really do feel
from everything you have experienced
I was mad at you for awhile
started to lose my faith
and think everything
meant nothing
then I got to hear your voice
realized you are just scared
and didn't want to believe
what was right in front of your eyes
I need to tell you
no matter what you do
everything that once was
will always be
those things you wanted to leave behind
wont let you leave them
you wont be able to say good-bye
with out knowing its what is right
and you wont know unless you try
so I ask you now
this day we are friends again
are you going to try and walk away
knowing where your heart is
or are you going to try and make amends

Alone

I ask myself many things,
am I alone?
am I doing things right?
Why, is it we always fight?
Can I make things stop,
Can I fix this,
Can we be like before,
always happy
confiding,
friends,
Wondering if you will ever see
what you keep turning your back on,
hoping someday you will remember
the people who love you the most
I keep trying
always end up crying
the river keeps flowing
with no one ever knowing
wishing you would listen
but you just think I'm stupid
I really do miss you,
now I have no one to protect me
just being so lost
I have no idea why i keep trying
You keep pushing me,
telling me I'm nothing,
worthless,

Just wanting to be something,
let me check,
yep still nothing
the feelings are so morale
I'm just.... alone!

Something

There are some things people cant change
some things that belong
and some things that you can never understand
not knowing where to go at times
not knowing what to do
you make choices
even when your confused
you don't always realize
the things you are doing
whats right in front of you
or even what your saying
but somehow
someone does
someone is
and someone will
you will always be okay
even when you are at your worst
it will seem like forever since you were wonderful
and worry free
but someday it will happen for you
like I am hoping it will happen for me.
Someday things will fall into place
and everything will seem perfect
Someday everything will be understood
and you wont have any questions left unanswered
but that choice is yours with the path you choose
keeping that in mind

because someday may be today for you

somewhere to belong

There are some things people cant change
some things that belong
and some things that you can never understand
no know where to go at times
not even understanding of where you are
your just looking for somewhere to belong
you get confused
and fall flat on your face
you only see the negativity
in the way people are looking at you
but is that really what they are doing
or are you just looking at them that way
are you holding onto all the pain
never feeling anything real
never understand anything
ever again
never knowing anything ever again
until you break away from these habits
and you find yourself
you let go of all that pain and anger
and you find what you have wanted all along
and you realize the looks were never there

I am but alone

Everyone seems to be trying
trying to figure out why on the inside I am crying
They push,
and I go further away,
The pry
and I just sit back and watch
I dont want to open up to you
I'm sorry but right now,
I need to be lost,
I dont want to tell you good-bye
but please just give me some time
I'm screaming on the inside,
I dont want it to be seen
thats for a reason,
not to be mean,
Stop asking so many questions
you wont ever get your answer,
stop looking at me like that
I dont know if you will ever have that
I am sitting here right now
thinking its okay
its so unreal
I dont know even how I feel
So forgive me for this time
this space I am asking for
forgive me for my words
I really do mean well

Dont seem right

Sometimes things don't seem right,
I fall back and lose my sight,
Push foward to only become lost,
and never seeing whats right in front of me,
Becoming something I cant even describe,
something I dont even know what is,
looking to find out,
I try not to hide,
sometimes I wonder,
is this where I'm suppose to be
am I doing things right this time?
the path I have most recently chosen,
is not one well traveled,
I know there will be faults
things I cannot control,
I wonder though,
who will take this journey with me,
who wont let me go alone,
with the world turning so fast
day turns to night
night turns to day,
things keep changing
seasons come and go,
but my true friends show
I love you guys,
and hope this journey
never grows old!

The underlying Sensation

love is terrifying trust it once and
you could be eternal but trust it twice
and your doomed for misery
fate tempts all but life only lets me fall
happiness is a feeling long missed
now im lost and confused
and no one sees me quiver and twist
i will push on i will sore high
i will become more then just a simple mind
to show you now
who i am is to show you life to show you then
wasnt anything but strife
falling off my rocker
only now to see
what i was always scared would happen
finally did happen to me
not wanting to cause harm
still dont make others understand
girls i dont want your man
i want to be single thats where i stand
hes all yours
all i want is a friend with a helping hand
fellas you know the drill
ima tom boy still
help me kick back and make my life chill
for everyone your different thoughts
please respect me
say it to me or dont say it at all
respect yourself and stand tall
be brave and happy for who you are
no one makes you anything
you only make yourself something
to become everything
now with sweet revenge
i send prayers your way
i ask him for forgivness
and bless us all with another day

Once knew but no more

In a time of need it makes you wonder
who will be there and who will cease to exist
who will show you a helping hand
or turn there back
I thought I knew for sure when it came to you
I thought you were better than that
I dont know why but recently
you have changed my mind
best friends yes,
but in need of something more
I am debating on staying.
and stepping in that door once more
you seem to think all is known
life you no longer can explore
I try to help you along your path
but you explode like a time bomb
and your words just make me boggled
I wonder why, you think you cant have an open mind
I ponder how.
how you even think you are the person who decides who belongs
and when you will come back to reality and be the person I once knew you to be
but until then my friend do I say so long,
or do I take these aggrivating thoughts
do nothing and expect something to happen

Theres always more than one way to look at things, its just a matter of finding what way looks best:)

You think

You think you know me,
You think you know my story,
Where I come from, Where I'm going, What I'm doing,
but how do you know this, when I dont even know,
what am I suppose to do,
how am I suppose to tell you,
everything in my heart,
when it no longer belongs to you,
what am I suppose to do,
when I have nothing left for you,
each thing I go through,
each thing you do,
my hand is no longer with you,
I'm no longer a kid,
but I'm breaking all the rules,
I play the game against all you fools,
and yet you dont see,
I'm just the one you desire,
not the girl of your dreams!
I keep trying to walk away,
so my heart dont shatter again,
whats left it anyway.
just hoping to survive,
and start a new day.